I can’t believe I once thought that scoring high on IQ and aptitude tests would get me somewhere in life.

I can’t believe I saw that Jon had $1,000 to overpay with.

I can’t believe I have looked at the back of EVERY Wardrobe I’ve come across looking for Narnia.

I can’t believe I got dumped on our anniversary/ New Year’s because his mom threatened to cut him off.

I can’t believe I overpaid my cable bill by $1,000.

I can’t believe I left the most beautiful, intelligent, and compassionate girl at the altar, and now, at the age of forty-three, sit at home alone, and find myself an addict who hates himself.

I can’t believe I partied away the money I got from an insurance settlement to fix my car after a wreck, then told my parents I spent it on an abortion.

I can’t believe I watched my beagle have 4 puppies.

I can’t believe I can talk to girls without the slightest fear of embarrassment, yet can’t work up the courage to ask a girl to the movies with me.

I can’t believe I love him but sleep with his brother.